I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
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