; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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