Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
