if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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