I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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