i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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