Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize