At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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