I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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