IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
