yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
