One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
why is half of my head shaved?
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