He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
