I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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