I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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