Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
