I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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