My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
