I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
