She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
