I got chris browned last night
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
