sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
