Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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