i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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