Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
