Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
