hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
