Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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