And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
