i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
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