They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
