East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Randomize
