no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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