i just had sex bonerless
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
