operation have a gay friend backfired
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Two words: blizzard sex
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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