is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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