You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
