He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
