Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
