I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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