She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
