Plan B is the new Plan A
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
