Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
