so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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