Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
