I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
