i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
