WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
