I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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