is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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