No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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