pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
