their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
