based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
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Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
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Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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