Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
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i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
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