I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
