but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
