So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
