I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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